OMG, 7 years!

Hi All,

I am back. So much has gone on in these last 7 years…where do I begin!

1. I am DIVORCED! I finally got up enough courage to say “BOY BYE!” You can read that on my other blog “Nurses speak out loud” and the blog post “Catching Flights”.
2. I became a published author. https://a.co/d/8vZCVuV If you know of some one who is going through a divorce or just starting over, recommend my book of devotionals.
3. I am still a NURSE! Covid came and I am burnt out and returning to writing is what calmed and soothed my soul.
4. I am a Nana x 2 to amazing and wonderful girls.
5. I am healing! I am on a journey of self love, self awareness, self accountability, SELF EVERYTHING!
6. I am older, lol!
7. I went to therapy.
8. I tried dating….to be continued.
9. I am just focusing on myself and my new normal.

Happiness Tag Challenge

I was challenged by fellow blogger, Tikeetha from https://athomaspointofview.com/2016/08/20/happiness-tag-challenge/ to let everyone know what makes me happy and five songs that make me feel GREAT! Challenge Accepted!

So often as we go through our daily lives and do not reflect on what makes us HAPPY. Thanks tikeethathomas, for allowing me to reflect on what makes me Happy!

 

• My family makes me happy. My family makes me happy. I love when we’re together and able to talk and share our day with each other. I don’t know where I would be if He had not blessed me with them. They are my lifeline. Being a mother and wife is who I am and what I do.
• Chocolate. I love any and everything chocolate, wait, I do not care for dark chocolate. Give me a pack of Reese’s cup, a Mr. Good bar, a Hershey bar, and we are besties.
• Helping others. Being a nurse is my chosen profession and it is what I do. I love helping people. There are times that I wish I could do more but I do what I can.
• Sleep. This is a problem. I work the night shift and so therefore while many of you are sleep, I am wide awake. When I get off, I crash and burn. I do not wake up for several hours. When I am off, I sleep. I sleep, I sleep, I sleep. It makes me happy to get some sleep but it also hinders me.
• Writing. I have loved writing since I could remember. I am at my happiest when I can write to inspire. My imagination was better when I was younger but I have to go back and get in my “happy” place. Maybe if I get the chocolate and some sleep, my imagination will come.

 

 

Five Songs that makes me GREAT!

 

“Rise Up”-Andra Day (LOVE HER VOICE)

“Intentional”-Travis Greene

“Halo”-Beyoncé

“Ambition”-Wale

“Happy”-Pharrell Williams

 

 

So here’s my challenge to you, yeah you, take the time to let us know what makes you happy? If you choose to accept this challenge, be careful, you may inspire someone else.

Love you, beautiful people!

Loving U!

“To thine own self be true”-Shakespeare

It has taken me some years to LOVE who I am, to be the woman that I have come to be! My confidence wasn’t the best, self-esteem at its lowest…I didn’t LOVE MYSELF!

If I didn’t love myself, how could I love someone else? I was looking for love in all the wrong places, things, and people.

I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, light enough, fine enough, thin enough, smart enough, I just wasn’t enough.  It was hard not being ENOUGH!

I was called all kinds of names as a child and it hurt, by family, by friends, by people who didn’t know me.

“Giraffe”, “anorexic”, “deep voice”, “big lips”, “beer bottle” just to name a few.

 

It was very hurtful and they didn’t seem to care. They didn’t care how it made me feel, all they wanted was a laugh and it came at my expense. I remember being on the bus and someone had put some chicken bones in my hair. I was devastated, but I walked off the bus with my head held high. I cried later that night. I can recall a lot of hurtful and ugly things that have been said to me and about me.

I am almost 40 years old and I still recall those hurtful words. I know that as children we do and say some hurtful stuff to one another and we do not worry about how the person may feel.

I have learned to EMBRACE and LOVE myself! I understand that some people are paying big bucks to have the lips that I got! That “anorexic” part is long gone, now I am PHAT!  My voice is still the same. My neck is like Queen Nefertiti (whose name means “the beautiful one has come”).

I realized that I MUST LOVE MYSELF!

I AM UNIQUE!

I AM GOING TO BE ME!

 

 

Disclaimer:I do not own the rights to these pictures, did a Google Search!

More “MOM”ents (moments) from 2015!

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So my Jayla was just looking at my title and said, “Did you know there is “MOM” in moments! So this is dedicated to the “MOM”ents of 2015!

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Ready to make more MOMents in 2016!!!!!

Happy New Year!

 

These are my pictures! The other pictures were found on google.

“You Fix His Plate?”

I fix his plate too!

Thirty Plus and Beyond

I was at a gathering once and my husband asked me if I could fix him a plate.  I said yes and got up to do so (plus, I was starving).   As I rose, someone said to me, “you fix his plate?  He can’t fix his own plate?”

I was a little taken aback and also a bit thrown off by her disgusted tone.  I wasn’t sure what the big deal was and then I realized.  Oh yes, a woman that fixes her man’s plate is non-empowered, non-independent woman, right?  Because a woman that fixes her man’s plate is a servant, being taken advantage of, and has set society back by doing the task of a 1950’s housewife, right?

So, you want to know what my answer to this?

Yes, I surely do.  Often.  I cook him dinner, do  laundry, I fold his clothes, and clean the bathrooms, the bedrooms, I vacuum…

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Friendly Fridays

It has been a minute since I had a “Friendly Friday” segment and I was going to make it bi-monthly but things just get in the way at times.

I hurt and I have hurt others. I am not perfect but I am PERFECTLY FLAWED!

There was a time in my life when I was in such a dark place. There wasn’t any light that I could see guiding me!

I felt like it was the only way out.

I felt as if everyone in my life would be in a happy space if I was no longer here.

I felt that I was such a disappointment to everyone.

The only end in sight was to take my life.  I grabbed a bottle of Tylenol PM and a couple of double dueces (colt 45) and I turned them up! That was 15 years ago. It was the end all to be all. Not only was I about to take my own life, I was going to take the life of my son as well.  I was pregnant with him.

I didn’t care. I was so SELFISH! All I could think about was me!!!

I was in the hospital for a couple of days, many didn’t know why. I told them that I had just gotten dizzy and almost passed out and that I was dehydrated.

I was spared! God has a PURPOSE for MY LIFE & I am still SEARCHING FOR IT!

Slowly putting all the pieces together!

That is why I have this saying, “Life may not go as planned, but it is WORTH LIVING!!!!!!”

Happy Reading!

Be BRAVE, Be KIND, Be LOVING!!!!

 

 

 

38 & Ticking!

So in a few weeks, I will be turning 39!  Whoop! Whoop! Yes, I am looking great for 39, almost 40!

Reading my fellow blogger, I am V., 20 Life Lessons, so I was inspired to create my own life lessons (39 to be exact). I could come up with more easily but I will add to them each year.

So here goes! I hope you enjoy!

1. Always put God first! It has taken me a long time to understand this. I had a solid foundation as a child but didn’t understand my relationship with God was/is essential.
2. Never GIVE UP! No matter how bleak it may seem, there is a PEAK!
3. BE U!!! Be who YOU ARE! It may take years of finding yourself, loving yourself, but NEVER let someone define who you are!
4. It’s OKAY if you don’t have it all together!
5. As a mother, I learned that I have to love my children differently. They each have their own personality which means they have their own “LOVE” personality.
6. My mantra, “Life may not go as you planned, but LIFE is worth LIVING.” At one point in my life, it wasn’t worth living. I popped some Tylenol PM and drank a couple of double deuces and laid down. It was a wrap for me, but, GOD had a different plan.Find your purpose! This is the reason that you are HERE! This is the reason that you live and breathe. God has equipped you with the vision.
7. Everyone has a cheer leading section. Find those who are applauding for you and keep them close!
8. Know your ROLE! Sometimes you have to sit on the bench and it will be okay. Mano Ginobli is great at being the 6th man.
9. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE!
10. Don’t let them see you as a stereotype! Cultivate who you are.
11. Know when to be “Gangsta” and “Professional”.
12. SILENCE is GOLDEN! Everything doesn’t deserve a response.
13. Pick your battles.
14. Wine keeps me SANE!
15. Laugh until you pee!
16. Cry until the tears stop on their own.
17. Live like there is no tomorrow.
18. Make time for yourself.
19. Peace of mind outweighs everything.
20. Try. Try Hard! No one can say that you didn’t try.
21. Say SOMETHING! Let them know how you feel. It doesn’t matter whether they like it or not.
22. Give from the HEART! Don’t expect anything in return.
23. It is okay to say “NO”. Learned the hard way. I was a “yes” girl, always wanting make sure everyone was alright.
24. NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!
25. Remember Character is everything.
26. First impressions are lasting impressions!
27. Keep your word…I have lost this many a times.
28. I tell my children, give better than your best.
29. Follow your DREAMS/VISIONS no matter what!
30. Spend as much time with the people you love.
31. Haters are your driving force!
32. FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE!!!!
33. Success is how high you bounce when you have hit rock bottom!
34. Keep it simple! I like SIMPLE!
35. Make FAMILY a PRIORITY!
36. Be PASSIONATE about something!
37. Be with someone who makes you laugh, who will wipe away your tears, and always be there for you.
38. Treat others the way you want to be treated!

KARMA is _____! She is wearing 6 inch stilettos and is ready to walk all over you. What you put out in the UNIVERSE, you will get in return!

 

 

Happy Birthday to ME!!!! Happy Reading! What are some life lessons that you have learned? How have they shaped your life?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these images. I got them from google search.

“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair”

“And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.”–Langston Hughes

This is just one of the lines from the poem “Mother to Son” that have inspired me to keep going. Here is the complete poem:

Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor-
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So, boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps.
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now-
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

This sums it up, PERFECTLY!

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/mother-to-son-by-langston-hughes#ixzz3qsENog74
#FamilyFriendPoems

Happy Reading! I hope you enjoy! 🙂

© Life may not go as you planned, but it is worth LIVING!-Alitha Hawkins

A Regrettable Decision…

Often times we look back over our lives, we take inventory of our losses and wins, and our biggest REGRETS and think about how that decision made our lives different.

I have made some decisions that have eventually made me who I am TODAY!

As I sit here and thinks about one of my regrets, it would be that I chose not to go into the Air Force. When I was in high school, I didn’t think much about what I aspired to be. I knew that I wanted to be successful in life and that’s all I knew.  I also knew that I wanted to be a commercial pilot, I wanted to fly airplanes. So one day, I decided to take the ASVAB for the military. I scored high enough that I qualified to go into the Air Force. I was so happy. My dream was starting to take shape. I was going into the Air Force. I was going to travel and see the world for FREE!!! What more could a small town Georgia girl ask for? 

….and then, I found out that I was pregnant. NOOOO!!!!!!!! 

    I knew that my dream was over and I was hurt and disappointed.  I knew that I could not do it with a child. So I talked with my recruiter and my mom.  It was still possible for me to achieve my dream, but, I didn’t want to sign over my parental rights. Even though, I was going to be a teen parent and this was definitely going to be a way to provide for my child, I could not leave her at this time.  I knew she was going to be in great hands with my mom, who has always been my biggest cheerleader, but I wanted to see her grow up.

Looking back over my life, it would have been a great opportunity. I think about how different my life would have been if I had chosen to go into the Air Force.  I would not have the family that I have today and doing something that I love. I can still possibly get my pilot’s license and it will be expensive, but it can be done.

I appreciate all my choices for they made me who I am today!

What has been your biggest regret?  How has it shaped your life today?

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Happy Reading!

Photo credit: http://www.lovethispic.com

Who am I and Why I’m here?

Hi there!  Blogging is new to me and I just want to be able to tell people my story, offer my advice on subjects that I can relate to, and just to get my “voice” out there! I have been writing since I was a young child, because I knew nothing else.

I know my story may not be as exciting as anyone else’s, but I want to share it with someone. I want to own my truths, so they can help others heal too.

I am Alitha Hawkins and I am a small town Georgia girl. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and a Godfearing woman. I love helping others, shopping, reading, and just being with my family.