OMG, 7 years!

Hi All,

I am back. So much has gone on in these last 7 years…where do I begin!

  1. I am DIVORCED! I finally got up enough courage to say “BOY BYE!” You can read that on my other blog “Nurses speak out loud” and the blog post “Catching Flights”.
  2. I became a published author. https://a.co/d/8vZCVuV If you know of some one who is going through a divorce or just starting over, recommend my book of devotionals.
  3. I am still a NURSE! Covid came and I am burnt out and returning to writing is what calmed and soothed my soul.
  4. I am a Nana x 2 to amazing and wonderful girls.
  5. I am healing! I am on a journey of self love, self awareness, self accountability, SELF EVERYTHING!
  6. I am older, lol!
  7. I went to therapy.
  8. I tried dating….to be continued.
  9. I am just focusing on myself and my new normal.

You’re MARRIED, BYE!?!?

You’re MARRIED!?

Say, WHAT!!!!!

You didn’t have on a ring. You never said anything.

No wonder, I never came to your house.

No wonder, I was never invited to any family gatherings.

That is why you always came to see me at my apartment, but only stayed for a few hours…

That is why you always went in the bathroom to use the phone.

That is why we always went to Redbox instead of going to the movies.

No wonder, I only saw you on the weekends.

That is why I never met your friends. That is why we couldn’t go out on a real date.

So I saw your pictures on Facebook and then I realized, he’s not my guy. He belongs to her. What a beautiful family?

YOU’RE MARRIED, BYE!!!!!

 

Happy Reading and Enjoy!

Please share and reblog!

He KNOWS!

A few months ago, I was talking to a coworker and she was telling me that her and her significant other had been together for a while, 3 years to be exact, and they had discussed getting married but nothing has happened yet.

I asked, “Is he ready?”

She replied, “Yes, he is ready, but I am the one who wants to wait.”

I said, “You have a great guy. Not too many black males are ready to settle down and start a life with the woman he loves.”

She said, “Yeah, he is my best friend. I love him to death and I would do anything for him, it’s just that I want to finish some goals that I have and I know that he will support me cause he has before, but I don’t want to be a burden.”

They both have good paying jobs, they are still young, and have their whole lives ahead of them.

I said, “Girl, if this young man is ready to marry you, then he knows and understands the responsibility that comes with being a husband. Do you realize how many women are waiting for this? Honey, a man knows within a year or two of dating or courtship if you are the one that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. It takes a year to get to know a person. I don’t think that you should rush but if you know that he’s the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then go ahead and get some premarital counseling.”

Listen to me offering advice, ha! I offer advice cause I know the mistakes that I have made.

Trust me, when I tell you a man knows if you are the one! It won’t take 7 years,  12 years, or 20 years for him to finally make the decision to be a man and make you his wife.

HE KNOWS!!!!!

 

Happy Reading and Enjoy!  🙂

Please share and reblog!

©Life may not go as you planned, but it is worth LIVING!-Alitha Hawkins

 

 

 

 

 

Courtship Over My Cookies

A Thomas Point of View

I read this post entitled “How Waiting for Sex is Worth the Wait” last month. The post gave suggestions about how long women should before having sex. It wasn’t designed to be definitive but I felt that it was missing one major guideline. Here are some of the suggestions:

It is different for everyone, some guidelines are:

  • When he has said he loves you
  • When you feel 100% sure he will want to still contact you
  • When he asked you to be exclusive
  • When you have met his friends and family
  • When you have been dating him at least 6 weeks

Did you notice that something was missing in the guidelines? How long you should wait before having sex? How about until you are married? Wait for marriage before having sex.

Why? Because we should ladies. So many of us are discounting ourselves with men who don’t recognize our full value…

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“You Fix His Plate?”

I fix his plate too!

Thirty Plus and Beyond

I was at a gathering once and my husband asked me if I could fix him a plate.  I said yes and got up to do so (plus, I was starving).   As I rose, someone said to me, “you fix his plate?  He can’t fix his own plate?”

I was a little taken aback and also a bit thrown off by her disgusted tone.  I wasn’t sure what the big deal was and then I realized.  Oh yes, a woman that fixes her man’s plate is non-empowered, non-independent woman, right?  Because a woman that fixes her man’s plate is a servant, being taken advantage of, and has set society back by doing the task of a 1950’s housewife, right?

So, you want to know what my answer to this?

Yes, I surely do.  Often.  I cook him dinner, do  laundry, I fold his clothes, and clean the bathrooms, the bedrooms, I vacuum…

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…and the celebration continues!

 

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On 12/12/2015, my husband became a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!!!  YIPPEEE!!!

After being out of college for nearly 13 years, he made a commitment to himself and his family to go back.  In 2013, he returned to Fort Valley State University, changed his major, and the dream was finally cultivated on 12/12/2015.

It was an awesome and epic experience.  He is the first of his mother’s children to become a COLLEGE GRADUATE!

Many late nights and early mornings, final exams, some sleepless nights, coming home from work after 12 hours to study and to watch his dream materialize was a great feeling.  Being his wife, being there for support , and probably getting on his nerves at times, stressing him out, I know that I could not be any prouder of him.

He showed our children that no matter what, “NEVER GIVE UP!” When times got hard, he could have called it QUITS! Some nights, I sat up with him to help because not only was this changing his life, it was affecting our lives.

There are two goals that were achieved with him graduating:

  • Achieving a College Education
  • Providing a better life for his family

Not often, do you see a black male who is doing something positive and being a family man.

Thank God it is over!

So here are some pictures of the celebration! By the way, this was the best birthday gift I could have asked for!

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Happy Reading! I hope you enjoyed it! 🙂

 

In SICKNESS and In HEALTH!

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Somberly, looking at her while she is putting her shoes on, he sits down in front of her and just corrects her. She looks up at him with her big brown eyes and smiles.

He knows his wife is still there; somewhere. He knows she will have her “moments”, and the “moments” will be greater and more. He just takes it one day at a time. He continues to pray for her daily, for them daily, for healing daily. He knows that if the shoe was on the other foot, she will do the same for him.

As all these thoughts consume him, he begins to cry. She grabs his head and kisses his tears away, just like she has done for nearly 30 years. It was her way of telling him that every thing was going to be alright.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year ago. He noticed that she was forgetting to do small simple tasks. She was forgetting to put ingredients in her recipes. Then came the episode when she went to the grocery store and couldn’t find her way home. It was devastating. She was gone for nearly 4 hours. He called her cell and she couldn’t tell him where she was. He called OnStar to locate the car. He knew then, she was slowly fading away.

New medications have been started and are going well.

She still recognizes him, but, he understands that one day, she may look at him like a stranger, and until then, he will be her side until nevermore.

He grabs the keys and they head out the door.

NOVEMBER is Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month. It is also National Family Caregivers Month.

Alzheimer’s Disease is an overwhelming disease. To all who are suffering the loss or “losing” a loved one to this disease, my heart goes out to you. This disease will consume your heart, take your soul, and kill your spirit, but you keep fighting because your loved one needs you. Thanks for being a CAREGIVER!

If you know of someone who is taking care of a loved one, go and offer them your service. They could use a break.

Happy Reading! I hope you enjoy and come back, bring a couple of friends with you!

©Life may not go as you planned, but Life is worth LIVING!-Alitha Hawkins

http://www.alz.org

A Worthy Celebration-38 things I LOVE ABOUT HIM!

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Today, my wonderful husband celebrates another year of life!  I get to spend my day with the man who chose to spend the rest of his life with me! He is 38 years young today!  So I decided to create a list of the 38 things I love about him!

  1. His smile! It is so genuine.
  2. His Heart! He will give you the world.
  3. His full lips!!!  😘😘
  4. His love for his family and friends.
  5. His honesty…you know what you’re going to get.
  6. His WIFE!!!👰
  7. DRIVE!…He returned to college after being out for 13 years to complete his Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. He will be graduating in December!!!! Whoo-Hoo
  8. His cooking!
  9. He is a PROVIDER!
  10. HIS HUGS!!!
  11. HIS EYES!
  12. HIS SINGING!
  13. His naturally curly hair!
  14. He puts us first.
  15. His NEW attitude!
  16. His LOVE!
  17. His SWAG!!!
  18. His PRESERVERENCE!
  19. COMMITMENT!
  20. His jokes!
  21. His ANALYTICAL MIND! He questions everything!!!!!
  22. He is LOUD!
  23. His dancing!
  24. His frugality! Keeps me in check!
  25. I didn’t realize how hard this was!
  26. His laugh!
  27. His smell!
  28. His gap!
  29. His handyman’s capabilities! Thanks YouTube!
  30. His sarcasm… We go back and forth!
  31. His playful attitude.
  32. He continues to romance me after 17 years!
  33. He continues to love me and all my flaws!
  34. I love him and all his flaws!
  35. His love of God! This should have been first but I was just going with the flow!
  36. His support!
  37. His cleanliness!

I just love everything there is to love about him! He is my comforter, my lover, and my best friend!

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